Trashfire Rants: A Reflection of My Decade

my decade

Hi all, so today I’ll be getting kind of personal, because well, I turn twenty!Β πŸŽ‰Β I’m not really writing this looking for a “happy birthday” or anything, but I have been kind of using this blog as a little diary, so I thought I’d document this event as well.

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I feel really emotional leaving my teens behind, I have been through a lot in the last decade, it feels a little weird to not be a teenager anymore. When I spoke to my friend several months ago when she turned twenty, she said she wasn’t going to miss her own teens because she was in high school for most of it; and that experience wasn’t a good one.

It made me think of my life. I spent most of 10-13 in living abroad in the Philippines, and 13-16 I was in high school. Granted I turned 14 that September, and two years later I started college as junior in high school at 15. I’ve spent most of my teen years independently, so I guess I kind of see college the way most people see high school. I honestly feel more nervous leaving my teens behind than I did when I finished high school, believe it or not.

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Turning twenty also marks my senior year as an undergrad, and I’ll be completing my major this upcoming spring. Which has been the source of some anxiety, as I scramble to fill out applications for potential careers. I accomplished many things in my teens, including this blog,and looking back now even I’m amazed at how I did it all. I don’t regret growing up fast, but I still feel as though I’m still very naive, and I’m looking forward to what my this next decade will bring me.

Anyway, I thought I’d end this with a song. I wanted to include a song from Jessica Jung’s lastest album “My Decade” because I’m also wrapping up the last ten years of my life, but I kept going back to IU’s 23. The song is actually about being 21 international age, so I really relate to it!

She sings:

I’m twenty three
I’m a riddle (Question)
Try to guess the answer

and

“Cunning twenty three
Still long way to go, girl
If I pretend to be immature
Please be fooled roughly”

and

“I, yes, like now for sure
No, frankly speaking I wanna give up
Oh right I want to be in love
No I rather make money
Try to guess”

Her song is about the confusing days of youth, which, even though I’ve made a clear path for myself, I could end up on a completely different one. I need to be an adult, but I also want to be childish sometimes, and enjoy life. So yes, thanks for reading! This was probably a confusing rant, but this gives me some form of closure, so I don’t regret posting it!

 

Thanks again, bye loves!

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